Long time readers will have learned a number of things about my personality and habits. They will know that I am a horrible cook and an even worse baker. I am the pirate queen of procrastination. They will therefore be unsurprised to discover that today, instead of the long list of grown up things I needed to do, which included vacuuming, laundry, toiletries shopping, language course homework and writing a proper grown up blog about sensible things, I instead went to Hobbycraft and spent money I don’t have on things I didn’t need in order to make things that no one needs, wants or can use.
What long time readers have not yet learned about me is that my craft skills are as good as my baking skills. Chaotic, impatient, and more enthusiasm than skill. You know when it comes to christmas and you don’t have much money and people say “you should make christmas presents this year”? Well, people that know me really well don’t say that to me, out of pure dread for what it is they might recieve. But I had a lot of things to avoid today, so I set to with my newly aquired piles of glitter, craft foam, sequins, glue sticks, bells, buttons, felt and ribbon and sat down to Do Craft.
I am not sure my housemates will be best pleased with the results, which are (meant to be)
christmas stockings for them all. Partly because there is now glitter in every possible part of the house, and some impossible parts too; partly because I have insisted on hanging them up immediately while one housemate goes IT’S NOVEMBER WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS. (Please no one tell him I am doing this because watching him go WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS is infinitely amusing to me. I have a fake tree and a big box of decorations upstairs and keep telling him I am going to set it up tomorrow to see his look
of despair and frustration and his mournful NOOOOOOO cries and I can’t see this getting boring at any point. It’s going to keep me entertained all the way to December.)
But the main reason my housemates will probably be less than thrilled about the results is because they look like they’ve been made by an over enthusiatic hyperactive sugar fuelled squirrel. Albeit one with opposable thumbs. Maybe.
To be fair to me, one housemate did keep insisting that I hadn’t put enough stuff on his and kept going NEEDS MORE THINGS. MORE THINGS. Which is why it looks like i just dipped in in glue and upended the contents of Hobbycraft over it then shook everything off. And that’s more or less what his Halloween costume was a few weeks ago – he covered himself in greasepaint then tipped 1kg of glitter over himself. Which is why it doesn’t actually matter than much that I got glitter everywhere, because it’s been all over the house for weeks, despite being cleaned repeatedly. Glitter is basically the cockroach of craft materials.
Once I’d finished these there was still enough time left for me to have
reasonably done something useful, so instead I replaced some ordinary boring buttons on a perfectly functional cardigan with mulitcoloured ponies. Because I am five.
This was absolutely a good use of my time.